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I’m single!!! And that’s NOT OK!!! It can get boring and lonely at times, amongst other things 😭. I’m 20 years old, so being single now is ‘socially acceptable’ but I know that as soon as I touch 25 (maybe earlier) my parents will start looking at me like this:


(Tbf my mums already looking at me like that 😬)

Say no more tho!! My pengting is on the way! Yes lordttt!

But in all seriousness, I’ve noticed a stigma attached to ‘the single season’ on social media and in church culture especially for young Christians.

I feel like for some christians, the criteria for finding a spouse is so high compared to non-religious people that sometimes it’s like erm hello what about ‘lurveee’?

Ok, so they have to:
– Look like Beyoncé. 😍
– Inspire like Michelle Obama. 👏🏾
– Preach like Taffi Dollar. 🙏🏾
– Speak in tongues. 🔥
– Be able to cast out demons 😱
– and oh yh fingers crossed for A1 bedroom skills for the honeymoon and that! 👅🤦🏾‍♂️

There’s so much to consider. And of course you been knowing that you better close your eyelids to the opposite sex until you’re in the financial position to marry or you’re in your mid 20’s anyway!

So what does this mean for unmarried young people in the church? What about those ‘single’ 20 years? What do we do while we wait?


Now my unpopular opinion is that the single season is for you and you only (as obvious as that sounds you’d be surprised at the amount of opposition to that statement). No attachments. For the young Christian it’s about learning to depend on God before we depend on other people. It’s time for you to focus on you. Get grafting, get pursuing, get praying.

Singleness is a valuable stage of our lives in which I’d encourage you to start defining your purpose, learning who you are in Christ, hearing from God and putting it into practice.

Please understand, relationships can be emotionally, financially and spiritually draining. You have to put a lot into a relationship in order to give you and your spouse a good shot at longevity. There’s simply no time during a relationship for you to be saying “I just need to get closer to God for this week – speak next week”. Or “I feel in my spirit a call into engineering but I need to study – so see u in a few years!” Single season is that time. It’s the time you use to smooth out any rough edges. It’s the time you go for your personal goals which will help you be in a better position to pursue goals as a team with your future spouse!

So while we wait for our very own ‘pengting’, let’s put God first and make sure we’re husband/wife material. Don’t wait until you find ‘the one’ to be the one, get ready now. Make sure you’re ready for when your pengting arrives.

New single PENGTING out NOW.

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  1. Interesting article. The truth is that woman’s purpose on this earth is to be a helpmeet, and the man’s purpose is to be the priest, provider and protector of his home so man’s reason according to God for living is family. If you can’t be a pastor or deacon without being married so I believe preparation for marriage is getting a job, finding a spouse and finding your “good thing” so that you can obtain favor form the Lord. Prov. 18:22. Society prolongs this by making us think that we must be financially stable and at a specific place, but your wife is your help meet, she helps meet your needs. If you have attained everything alone then what is she for? Be blessed bro.

  2. Good post. I a marriage myself but last weekend my husband left me and my children. Even though it different, I am going to be waiting and making myself into a better person for my children and who ever I may be with again. God is in control and that is what I should remember.

  3. Awesome J and so true, stay focussed you’ll meet your mate in due in season and she will be worth the wait!

  4. Love this post. Firs time reading your blog and I’m enjoying myself. For a long time, I thought that would feel better about myself if there was a guy that “liked” me. This is just confirming that with God, working on yourself will bring the one to you, He’ll the right one in your life…he or she may be there already. God’s timing is the best timing.

    1. So true! And ultimately, God likes you (as corny as it sounds) the creator of the universe and the only one whose opinion actually matters thinks the world of you! So keep your head up he’s got great things in store for you.