I’m single!!! And that’s NOT OK!!! It can get boring and lonely at times, amongst other things 😭. I’m 20 years old, so being single now is ‘socially acceptable’ but I know that as soon as I touch 25 (maybe earlier) my parents will start looking at me like this:
(Tbf my mums already looking at me like that 😬)
Say no more tho!! My pengting is on the way! Yes lordttt!
But in all seriousness, I’ve noticed a stigma attached to ‘the single season’ on social media and in church culture especially for young Christians.
I feel like for some christians, the criteria for finding a spouse is so high compared to non-religious people that sometimes it’s like erm hello what about ‘lurveee’?
Ok, so they have to:
– Look like Beyoncé. 😍
– Inspire like Michelle Obama. 👏🏾
– Preach like Taffi Dollar. 🙏🏾
– Speak in tongues. 🔥
– Be able to cast out demons 😱
– and oh yh fingers crossed for A1 bedroom skills for the honeymoon and that! 👅🤦🏾♂️
There’s so much to consider. And of course you been knowing that you better close your eyelids to the opposite sex until you’re in the financial position to marry or you’re in your mid 20’s anyway!
So what does this mean for unmarried young people in the church? What about those ‘single’ 20 years? What do we do while we wait?
WHILE WE WAIT
Now my unpopular opinion is that the single season is for you and you only (as obvious as that sounds you’d be surprised at the amount of opposition to that statement). No attachments. For the young Christian it’s about learning to depend on God before we depend on other people. It’s time for you to focus on you. Get grafting, get pursuing, get praying.
Singleness is a valuable stage of our lives in which I’d encourage you to start defining your purpose, learning who you are in Christ, hearing from God and putting it into practice.
Please understand, relationships can be emotionally, financially and spiritually draining. You have to put a lot into a relationship in order to give you and your spouse a good shot at longevity. There’s simply no time during a relationship for you to be saying “I just need to get closer to God for this week – speak next week”. Or “I feel in my spirit a call into engineering but I need to study – so see u in a few years!” Single season is that time. It’s the time you use to smooth out any rough edges. It’s the time you go for your personal goals which will help you be in a better position to pursue goals as a team with your future spouse!
So while we wait for our very own ‘pengting’, let’s put God first and make sure we’re husband/wife material. Don’t wait until you find ‘the one’ to be the one, get ready now. Make sure you’re ready for when your pengting arrives.
New single PENGTING out NOW.
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